Understanding how to get out of the fight or flight response
Fight and flight are two commonly misunderstood nervous system responses; we all have evolved to carry fight and flight inside our nervous system - for very good reason! Many people experience them as anxiety, irritability, restlessness, overthinking, panic, or a constant sense of urgency and assume something is wrong.
From a somatic perspective, fight and flight are not signs that something is wrong with you, but that your body is intelligently adapting to mobilise energy to help you survive what it perceives as threat.
In this article, we will explore what fight and flight are, what they feel like in the body, why they can get stuck, and gentle ways to support your system back toward regulation.
Table of contents
Understanding how to get out of the fight or flight response
What is the fight or flight response?
Fight and flight are 'sympathetic' nervous system responses. The sympathetic branch of your autonomic nervous system mobilises energy when your body detects threat. That energy is designed to help you act quickly, either by defending yourself (fight) or moving away from danger (flight).
In these states, your body may release stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, your senses can become sharper, your breathing may change, and your muscles prepare for action.
Why it can feel so intense
Fight and flight are designed for immediate, physical survival and this is why they can feel bigger than the situation in front of you.
Sometimes the trigger is obvious. Sometimes it is subtle. A tone of voice, a message left on read, financial pressure, conflict, a deadline, feeling watched, or even internal sensations like a racing heart can cue your system into mobilisation. As our body can't differentiate between real and perceived danger, or physical or psychological threats, it will still respond in the same way; mobilising energy for your immediate, physical survival; fight or flee!
When fight and flight are frequently activated, many people begin living in a chronic state of bracing. The body stays ready for danger and this can be exhausting.
What wild animals teach us about completing stress
In nature, the stress response is usually short-lived and purposeful. Imagine a gazelle being chased by a lion. Her sympathetic nervous system mobilises, she runs, and when the threat has passed she looks around to orient to safety, then she may shake, tremble, and return to grazing. The body metabolises the stress hormones through the movement they were released for, and then returns to regulation. (Sapolsky, 2004)
What we can learn from this is simple but profound: stress responses are meant to move through. The nervous system mobilises, then it completes the cycle and returns to safety.
Why we get stuck in the fight or flight response
In modern life, many stressors are psychological rather than physical. Bullying, emotional neglect, discrimination, relationship stress, and financial pressure can activate the same survival physiology. But these stressors often do not invite movement, and culturally we are often conditioned to suppress natural impulses (like shaking, roaring, pushing or shaking!) even though they are naturally what the body wants to do with all of this extra energy (Sapolsky, 2004) (Porges, 2011).
We are also more likely to ruminate. We replay conversations, anticipate worst-case scenarios, or judge ourselves for how we feel. As the body continues to respond to these thoughts as perceived threats, this can keep the physiological stress cycle switched on even after the situation has ended.
If you want a gentle foundation for understanding how your nervous system returns to calm, you might also like: Your vagus nerve: your in-built regulation hardware. It explains the body-up pathway of safety and why regulation is not something we can think our way into.
Fight in the body
Fight is mobilisation in the direction of defence - it's our body wanting to push away from someone or something else. It is the energy of “stop”, “no”, “back off”, “this is not okay” and can be engaged physically through pushing or verbally through saying/shouting or screaming. It is healthy and natural, and it often develops early; even babies will push away what feels too much.
When fight energy is activated, you might notice:
- Sensation: tension and bracing in the jaw, shoulders, chest, arms, fists, or core
- Breath: shallow or held breath, often higher in the chest
- Body temperature: heat, flushing, agitation
- Emotions: anger, frustration, irritation, defensiveness
- Thoughts: “this is unfair”, “stay away”, “I need to fight back”, “everything is against me”
Many people, often as children, were taught that anger is unsafe or unacceptable, &/or were punished for being angry. However, a healthy fight response is necessary for us to say no, assert boundaries & stand up to injustice. But when fight is suppressed repeatedly, it can feel unsafe to protect our space and energy. When we learn fight is unsafe to use, it is still there in our nervous system and this trapped right energy can show up as reactivity, tension, resentment, or internalised anger (e.g. a loud inner critic or unkind voice). Somatic work doesn't force us to release or express the fight response in an explosive or violent way; it helps us to listen to what the energy is trying to do, and support it safely. This way we re-learn that it is safe to harness our healthy fight response and we can reclaim our assertiveness, ability to say no and stand up to injustice.
The processing of trapped fight energy is covered in the practices in Module 5 of Somatic Self Healing, once a core foundation of safety and resourcing has been established through modules 1-4.
Flight in the body
Flight is similar to fight in that it is a high mobilisation of energy, but this time instead of pushing away, the body wants to run away. This can be felt as an energy of urgency, avoidance, anxiety, panic or constantly needing to be 'doing'.
When flight energy is active, you might notice:
- Sensation: tension in the hips, legs, diaphragm, or pelvic floor, like a coiled spring
- Breath: shallow breathing, sometimes a sense of tightness around the diaphragm
- Senses: hypervigilance, scanning, sensitivity to sound or movement
- Emotions: anxiety, fear, worry, unease
- Thoughts: “what if”, “I need to get out of here”, “I can’t stay here”, “I need an escape”
If there have been times in the past when escape was not possible, again, that flight energy is still there in the nervous system as the body hasn't been able to mobilise to complete the cycle of movement it activated for. This can show up as restlessness, chronic anxiety, and a constant need to be doing something. Again, the goal of somatic work is not to override this but to build enough safety and capacity for the energy to complete in a contained and safe way. This is also covered in the practices in Module 5 of Somatic Self Healing.
How to get out of the fight or flight response safely
Somatic healing supports us to do what wild animals do naturally: complete the stress cycle and return to safety. This is most effective when it is done slowly, gently, with consent, and within your window of tolerance. Contrary to what you might have seen in popular "trauma release" videos and movements online, you do not need to flood yourself with big emotion or force catharsis. In fact, this can be re-traumatising; that's why establishing safety through regulation practices (the work of modules 1-3) is vitally important first, so you always have the resource of safety in your body to come back home to.
If you are already well versed in nervous system regulation practices and would like a few examples of very simple practices, you can explore:
- For fight: push your hands into a wall, press your feet down, squeeze fists gently, and then pause to notice the shift
- For flight: shake or bounce the body lightly, run on the spot for 20 seconds, or cycle the legs while lying on your back
- For both: add sound if it feels supportive, such as a long exhale, a hum, or a clear “no” spoken softly
If you would like to read and learn more about nervous system regulation first, you might find this article helpful.
A closing note
Your fight and flight responses are not enemies - in fact, they are signs of protection, intelligence, and a nervous system that learned how to survive. Healing is not about getting rid of these states but about learning to work with them through building safety, capacity, and a relationship with your body so that the energy can complete and settle.
References
- Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers. Holt Paperbacks.
- Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma. North Atlantic Books.
- van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score. Viking.
- Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the body. W. W. Norton & Company.
- Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory. W. W. Norton & Company.
- Dana, D. (2018). The polyvagal theory in therapy. W. W. Norton & Company.
